Sea Squirt of the Day


The sea squirt is a little critter that famously — well, semi-famously — finds itself a cozy spot, settles in, and eats its own brain.

Today, the news networks ate their own brains.

Wanna know the latest developments in Iran?  Tough.

Wanna know what happened with the various health care bills today?  Not gonna happen.

Wanna know if they’re still slaughtering folks in Darfur?  Maybe you could call the Sudanese embassy.

Wanna know what the Dow did?  Capitalist pig!

Michael Jackson died, and not only is that newsworthy, it’s the only important thing that has happened all day.  In the world.  It is imperative — imperative, I tell you! — that we discuss every song he ever recorded, talk to everyone who ever knew someone who knew him or might have been in the same county with him at the time of his demise, re-examine all the details of his colorful life, roll the file footage of every dance move he introduced, and discuss how much money “Thriller” made.  Right.  Now.

Nothing else matters.  In the entire world.

And these people don’t understand why everybody’s turning to The Daily Show and the internet for their news?

(I’ve been rather ranty of late.  I’ll try to get the reeform.  Broom and midget and whatnot.)


5 Responses to “Sea Squirt of the Day”

  1. Terry A. Says:

    It was/is ridiculous. When news broke that he had been taken to a hospital, I read this line and couldn’t keep from laughing: “I hope it wasn’t a children’s hospital.”

    I am a sick, sick panda.

  2. jazzbumpa Says:

    My first thought was: I wonder what he OD’ed on?

  3. urbino Says:

    Somewhere, Mark Sanford has just joined his local Michael Jackson fan club.

  4. jazzbumpa Says:

    It’s still the lead story on CNN. It’s a damned good thing I have a martini in easy reach.

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