Chris Matthews…

by

is the most annoying man on television.  No, in all media.  No, wait, on the planet.

The man can. not. shut. up.  To quote a certain former math teacher of mine, he’s got diarrhea of the mouth.  No, dysentery of the mouth.  No, wait, cholera of the mouth.

You see what I’m doing there?  Making a statement, giving you half a moment of space to form a thought of your very own, then jumping right back in with another statement, badgering you like a . . . well, like a badger on crack?  Obnoxious, iddn it?

Matthews lives to do that.

Asking a question, pausing half a beat for his guest to begin an answer, then jumping back in, talking over them to give his own answer or restate exactly the same question in other words or ask a completely different question, pausing half a beat for his guest to begin an answer, then jumping in again is what gives his life meaning.

Hey, Chris.  That’s not hardball, numbnuts.  That’s just being a gaping assh*$e.  An extremely annoying gaping assh*$e.  An extremely annoying gaping assh*$e with a voice like nails on a chalkboard.  Who spits.

And it costs you viewers.

Ask yer question and shut yer pie hole.

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