Archive for January 5th, 2008

I Hate Politics, Part One

January 5, 2008

I’m not sure whether there will be a part two, I just couldn’t figure out what to call this post.

So, I decided to watch the debates tonight. Maybe “watch” is too strong a term. I turned it on, dutifully paused it while I was finishing up dinner and putting the baby down, and paid attention to what the candidates were saying from time to time. Up to now, I had not watched a single one, nor had I been particularly keeping up with what’s been going on in the campaign because I find politics unbearably tiresome. (And can’t believe I ever used to find it interesting, frankly).

But in the interest of, you know, being a good citizen and all, I figured that I should at least try to become somewhat informed, especially now that I live in Virginia and my vote actually counts for something more than it did in the District.

Let me just say that the Republican debate was as scary as I had imagined it could be. And this on the heels of my decision that the lesson I was meant to learn from my experience at the Lucifer & Satan law firm is that just because someone shares your politics does not mean he or she is a good person, and that (am I really saying this?) it’s possible — I’m not saying likely, but possible — that not all Republicans have horns. But it’s hard to maintain that kind of optimism and faith in humanity when you’re faced with Mitt Romney’s greasy mug, oozing smarminess. I mean, first of all, no one named “Mitt” should be allowed to serve at any level of government, and I don’t care whether it’s a nickname or not. But this guy creeps me out beyond belief. Please, for the love of God, Republicans out there, don’t elect this guy. You can tell just by looking at him and listening to him that he has zero integrity.

But he’s in good company on that one.

John McCain? Warmonger. Bush ass-kisser. Wrong on all the issues. Looks like death warmed over. That last one isn’t relevant to his ability to be president, but I had to throw it in because I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine and I’m feeling kind of punchy.

Giuliani? Asshole. I mean, he just is. His second wife found out he was leaving her on the news. His own kids don’t like him. How anyone can get beyond that, I do not understand. And of course, he has totally changed his positions on “the issues” to ingratiate himself to the base. Gag.

Fred Thompson? Condescending prick. Plus I don’t trust any man who’s married to a woman young enough to be his daughter. Sorry, I gotta call ’em as I see ’em.

The only one of the bunch who talked anything resembling sense (as opposed to pure spin and the favored buzzwords, such as “Democrat” as an adjective, “socialized medicine,” and “tax and spend”) was Ron Paul, and the way the other candidates treat him — like a pesky younger brother — is beyond unacceptable. Which is not to say that he has sense, but he definitely does have his own principles and views that he is faithful to. I mentioned to David that people always say they want that, but those candidates never win elections.

That leaves us with Huckabee, who seems like the only one of the major candidates with the slightest bit of integrity. I read an article in the New York Times Magazine about him a few weeks ago, and it was interesting. I also felt kind of sorry for him because the writer ridiculed him for his pedestrian taste in food, among other things. He’s a hard-core evangelical, which is scary as hell, but he also says things from time to time that make sense and don’t sound all that far off. I disagree with him on a lot of issues, of course. But honestly, I’d feel much more comfortable with him than with any of the others. Maybe I’m wrong about him, but he seems sincere.

Okay, this has gotten long, so I’ll shut up now. Maybe in part two I can talk about the Democratic candidates. Because, you know, there ain’t a lot of love there either. As I said, I hate politics.

P.S.  The above does not, and should not be interpreted to, encapsulate the disagreements I have with the various Republican candidates.  I was mostly trying to entertain (myself, if no one else).