Whole Milk, Ninety-Seven Pages

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Are you people hip to this bit of Amazon craziness?

I mean, seriously — 97 pages of reviews for milk? Not 97 reviews, mind you; 97 pages of reviews. The madness! The wackiness! The sheer Pythonesque hijinxery of it!

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8 Responses to “Whole Milk, Ninety-Seven Pages”

  1. alsturgeon Says:

    I love it!!! Well, not whole milk. I prefer skim. But the Amazon Craziness – that, I love!!!

  2. mrspeacock Says:

    My question is exactly how you discovered this. During your daily online search for the world’s best whole milk? Strange, indeed.

  3. captmidknight Says:

    I’m not sure which impressed me more about the Amazon post:

    The vast amount of literary creativity among Amazon.com regulars which is going unrecognized – I especially liked the quasi Coleridge poem and the short story about the man who proposed by giving his beloved a full gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk.

    or:

    The obvious evidence that there are an awful lot of folks out there with too much time on their hands.

    I’d love to hear our English professor’s opinion of the various literary efforts. Who knew that a subject like Tuscan Whole Milk could inspire such eloquence?

  4. urbino Says:

    Well, I do love me some milk, Mrs. P. However, just between you and me, I ran across this on somebody else’s blog.

  5. DeJon Says:

    What does it say about Tuscan Whole Milk when, according that Amazon.com, Customers Who Bought Items Like This Also Bought:
    – G’Day Gourmet Tuna Chili
    – Chef Boyardee Macaroni and Cheese
    – An Enema Syringe Anal Douche Rectal Syringe (I’m not touching that one…literally nor linguistically)
    – The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Jesus AND The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Prayer

    As well as..

    – Why Darwin Matters: The Case Against Intelligent Design
    Not to be out done by…
    – The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Paganism
    And
    – The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft, 3rd Edition

    Putting on my marketing hat, there is plenty to sift through there.

  6. urbino Says:

    Well, one can easily imagine how overconsumption of items 1 and 2 might lead one to purchase items 3, 4, and 5. Probably in rapid succession and with expedited shipping.

    If those items failed their intended purpose, one might have a moment of angry reaction (item 6), followed immediately by a resumption of the search for relief (items 7 and 8).

    What we have here is the very definition of the true Seeker — someone who feels something deep in the deepest reaches of himself*, something very much like an ache, that drives him to seek answers wherever they may be found.

    (* Ordinarily I’d nod to gender-openness and add an “or herself,” but let’s face it: somebody who overindulges in items 1 and 2 is a “himself.”)

  7. unicorntx Says:

    I didn’t think I was one with too much time on my hands — but — here I am reading this!!

    Surely, Woe is me.

  8. unicorntx Says:

    But, I did like the Kubla Khan paraphrase..

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