Chicken Wings

by

I know I’ve expressed my fascination with eating competitions here before. I love these things. People actually practice eating, exercise their abdominal muscles for the express purpose of being able to cram more food into their stomachs. And they get paid. They get to eat hot dogs. And pancakes and pies and all the other fun foods. They do so with apparently no consequences — these people aren’t fat. This has to be one of the purist sports going right now. It’s just everyday people who happen to be able to eat 4 pounds of chicken wings in 8 minutes.

Yup. 4 pounds. Chicken wings. 8 minutes.

So when you sit down to eat in a couple of days and you start to feel guilty about how much you’ve eaten and how many sit ups you’ll have to do to make up for it and will you be able to button your pants. Stop thinking those things. Take a breath. Sit back down and keep eating. You haven’t eaten nearly enough to win any prizes.

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16 Responses to “Chicken Wings”

  1. johndobbs Says:

    I’ve seen Shannon Lawler scarf down ribs at Dreamland BBQ in Montgomery. It’s the 9th wonder of the world.

  2. michaellasley Says:

    I love Dreamland BBQ. I stopped in once with a couple of buddies. I love that they simply ask you how many sides of ribs you want to start out with. And then bring a loaf of white bread to the table and a Mt. Dew or Pepsi (whichever you want).

  3. alsturgeon Says:

    So which food-eating contests would you enter?

    My best shots would be pies (cherry, preferably) or Krystal burgers.

    My worst would be pancakes. I like them, but one tears me up. 🙂

  4. captmidknight Says:

    Michael:
    A perfect subject to bring up just before Thanksgiving – just in case any of us had any lingering qualms about pulling up to the table.

    Eating contests have always seemed a little bizarre to me, but then so have several other kinds of “athletic” contests.

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

    Al,
    How ‘bout a sermon on gluttony on Sunday?

  5. alsturgeon Says:

    Way ahead of you. The subject is “contentment.”

  6. urbino Says:

    They do so with apparently no consequences — these people aren’t fat.

    Maybe not, but it can’t be healthy. It’s gotta be hell on the ol’ organism. Just imagine the Himalayan swings in blood levels of insulin, fats, triglycerides, cholesterol, protein, etc., depending on what they’re scarfing. It can’t be good for the kidneys and liver.

    Not to mention the GI tract, which I think one only has to pause a moment and consider the, er, exit wound from ingesting 4 lbs. of anything in 8 minutes to appreciate.

  7. captmidknight Says:

    Al said:
    Way ahead of you. The subject is “contentment.”
    ________

    I’m not sure which way you’ll go with that, but I assume your text will probably be 1Tim 6:6. At least that’s the most familiar one for that subject. If you want to shake some folks up, however, you might try and slip in Song of Solomon 8:10 – also about “contentment.”

    Just trying to help.

  8. michaellasley Says:

    I’d probably do best in the chicken wing department. I can’t handle sweet stuff in large quantities. And hot dogs, much as I love them, well, you have to dip the bread in water and it’s just gross.

    Yeh….I’m sure it’s not the healthiest thing in the world. I always imagine they throw the stuff up shortly after the contests. I’m just amazed that these people aren’t huge, though.

    I like the phrase “exit wound.” Just sayin’.

  9. alsturgeon Says:

    I shoulda checked back in before preaching, El Capitan. Woulda been fun to cite the Towering Breasts reference irt contentment! Wonder if I could’ve had some folks testify? 🙂

    Sermon went well anyway. Philippians 4: 4-13 was my major text, tho I got there via Johnny B in Luke 3: 7-14.

  10. captmidknight Says:

    Al said:
    I shoulda checked back in before preaching, El Capitan. Woulda been fun to cite the Towering Breasts reference irt contentment! Wonder if I could’ve had some folks testify?
    __________

    Another golden opportunity squandered!

    Having “testimony,” however, might be pushing the envelope a little in Ocean Springs, don’t you think?

  11. michaellasley Says:

    Hey now! I wanna know how two old men turned an innocent post about eating too much into a thread about towering breasts!

  12. Capt MidKnight Says:

    Michael,
    Al mentioned that he planned to preach on the subject of “Contentment” on the Sunday following Thanksgiving. I simply suggested that he consider using a text on contentment from The Song of Solomon – chapter 8 verse 10. I thought it might liven up the sermon. A perfectly innocent suggestion.

    Check it out. “It’s in the book.”

  13. michaellasley Says:

    “perfectly innocent.” suuuuure.

  14. Capt MidKnight Says:

    What? Didn’t you study Song of Solomon in your youth group?

    Tell me it wouldn’t be a hit with the high school crowd.

  15. alsturgeon Says:

    Junior high loves it.

  16. Philip Murphy Says:

    Michael… old TNT/Harbin friend just dropping by to say high. How the heck did you go from Paragould to Syracuse and then to Malibu? Time flies. later.

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