I Meant to Post This Yesterday

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Or even the day before that. But I didn’t. I decided to wait until Friday afternoon.

So to possibly carry us through the weekend…

I usually don’t care much for sports journalism. It bores me. But occassionally there’s a sports writer who comes along and is the right mix of brains and funny to make ESPN interesting. Bill Simmons is (sometimes) such a writer. He’s a bit frustrating — like the kid who sits in the back of class and constantly cracks jokes and he does this so often that it is just about to really piss everyone off when he says something so funny that you can’t help but love him. That’s how Bill Simmons is. He cracks lots of jokes. Only some of them are funny, but the funny ones make you forget about the nonsense he just wrote.

Anyway. Simmons writes a regular column for ESPN called The Sports Guy. It’s always worth reading, even though I don’t care about most of what he talks about (fantasy sports and professional football). He is a Boston native and a huge Red Sox fan. During the playoffs, he frequently posted his thoughts on ESPN’s website. My favorite column was this one: There’s Only One October Diary

The entire column is worth reading, but I love what he has to say about Tim McCarver and John Couger Mellancamp. I’ll leave you with a couple of snippets.

About McCarver: I might not be able to describe what McCarver just told us without you thinking I made it up, but let’s try: Over the span of 45 seconds, he just explained that a leadoff home run leads to more multirun innings than a leadoff walk, only he made it sound like this was some sort of remarkable revelation or something.

And those stupid chevy commercials with that annoying Mellancamp “This is Our Country” song: Now it has gotten to the point when I look forward to belting the chorus out. Chevy has just beaten me down completely — it’s the only commercial that causes Stockholm Syndrome. This is ouuuuuuur country.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

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16 Responses to “I Meant to Post This Yesterday”

  1. Terry A. Says:

    Also fun:

    http://www.firejoemorgan.com

    I highly recommend anything written by Ken Tremendous, a writer so acerbic and funny that SI has hired him on occasion.

  2. urbino Says:

    I like Joe Morgan. McCarver, though, is the best argument I know of for rendition.

  3. michaellasley Says:

    Thanks, Terry.

    I like Joe, too, JU. He seems to always have good insights. I mean, he says some dumb stuff, sure. But he’s one of the better analysts in the game, I think. McCarver has past the stage where he’s even fun to listen to just because you know he’ll say something stupid. He’s just annoying. I have no idea why FOX lets him talk. But a lot of people seem to like him for some odd reason. Probably the same reason a lot of people like Terry Bradshaw and John Madden and Vin Sculley (just wanted to throw that one in there for you two Dodgers fans).

  4. urbino Says:

    You’re just jealous because we didn’t hire Joe Torre until he actually knew what he was doing. And now that we did, we are automatically guaranteed a World Series championship next year.

    We don’t even have to field a team if we don’t want to; we just automatically win. It’s so cool.

    I actually don’t know anybody who likes McCarver. Obviously somebody at Fox does, though. One NY sports columnist thinks it’s because Fox actually hates baseball.

  5. captmidknight Says:

    Just got back from Searcy for my 40th class reunion. Harding is still there – and just as much fun as you remember.
    Sorry. I couldn’t resist yanking a few chains. If you can’t take a joke …

    As for sports commentators:
    Other than an early John Madden, I can’t think of any team of announcers/commentators that were just plain fun to watch – regardless of who was playing – since Howard Cosell and “Dandy” Don Meredith. I can still sing the words to “Turn out the Lights … The Party’s Over.”

  6. Terry A. Says:

    Fellas, fellas, fellas. How two guys as smart and handsome and normally spot-on as y’uns could like an absolute boob like Joe Morgan is beyond me. And that is what Joe Morgan is — just a great big boob.

    Hey, everybody… juvenal and mikey like great big boobs! They’re boob-likers! (You remember Harold and Maude Boobliker, don’t you, juvenal? They used to live down the street, I think.) Anyway… these two single, mostly heterosexual guys really like big… uh… oh, nevermind.

  7. michaellasley Says:

    I’ve been accused of alot of things in my day, but I’ve never….no that’s not true. I’ve been accused of this before.

  8. urbino Says:

    Hey, Joe Torre likes boobs. If that don’t make it right, I just wanna be wrong.

  9. alsturgeon Says:

    I have to agree with Terry on this one.

    To me, McCarver has a whiny-ness about him, but Morgan’s is more of an arrogance. Whiny-ness is okay if you’re funny, which McCarver is definitely not. Arrogance in a broadcaster is just hard for me to stomach. Morgan is better on mute.

  10. michaellasley Says:

    But Morgan at least says some insightful things from time to time. Yeh, he says some idiotic things, too. But as far as analysts go, you can at least count on him saying something intelligent on occassion.

  11. urbino Says:

    Wow. McCarver is the most arrogant broadcaster I’ve ever heard. Even worse than Bill Walton or Joe Theisman.

    I can see where Morgan sometimes comes off as arrogant, but Jon Miller is always there with a wisecrack to counteract it — and Morgan laughs at it, which I don’t think McCarver would ever do. If Morgan were working with . . . well, Joe Buck or, say, any of the Careys, he probably would be too much to take. But still not as bad as McCarver.

  12. Terry A. Says:

    Unfortunately for us all, this is not an either/or discussion. Both McCarver and Morgan are dolts, and both are foisted — foisted! — upon fans of beisbol everywhere.

    Personally, I think Orel Hershiser is pretty talented. Pair him up with Jon Miller, and you’ve got something.

    And in closing, even if you (somehow) like Joe Morgan, FireJoeMorgan.com is all sorts of hilarious. They don’t just limit themselves to busting on Morgan.

  13. alsturgeon Says:

    I think its Morgan’s occasional insightfulness that makes his arrogance more pronounced to me than McCarver’s. McCarver just comes across as a moron, and a whiny one at that. Morgan, on the other hand, well… you just start to think that he will make sense, then he says idiotic things, all wrapped up in the “aren’t you morons glad I’m here to explain this to you” persona…

    Yup, Terry’s right.

    Aren’t you morons glad I’m here to explain this to you?
    🙂

  14. urbino Says:

    all wrapped up in the “aren’t you morons glad I’m here to explain this to you” persona

    See, I get this waaaay more from McCarver than from Morgan.

    Personally, I think Orel Hershiser is pretty talented.

    I agree. He’s one of the most talented pitchers I’ve ever seen. But as a broadcaster, he’s kind of a loser.

  15. michaellasley Says:

    Hershiser got no personality. It’s like listening to static.

    I’ll check out firejoemorgan. I’m not against making fun of people.

    I wish he’d shave the stupid mustache. That’d make him way more likable.

    And, seriously, anyone else impressed with the Stockhold Syndrome line? I loved that.

  16. urbino Says:

    Sort of.

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