Archive for October 22nd, 2007

Quick Update on Me

October 22, 2007

In case anyone’s wondering why I haven’t been around as much, here’s the bullet-point version of my life this year. (The first part I posted about a while back, but just to recap).-> January through March — work sucked

-> April and May — “sucked” is now an understatement, things got seriously unpleasant the more pregnant I got; was forced onto maternity leave early

-> June — blissfully free of the evil place I worked, I laid around like third base for three weeks, and then had a baby!

-> July — our house got broken into when Casey was a mere two weeks old (and we were there!); also had mastitis (breast infection) and got fired

-> August — my friend Amelia’s mother becomes suddenly sick. They learn she has lung cancer that has spread to the liver. Amelia hurriedly reschedules her wedding from October to early September so that her mother can be there. Unfortunately, Janet passes away a mere week before the wedding, and the night before I get on a plane to travel to Jackson.

-> September — I attend Ms. Janet’s funeral and am maid of honor in Amelia’s wedding within the same week. Then when I get home, I have to start thinking about looking for a job.

-> October — I apply for some jobs, and spend a week in Louisiana with Amelia. Since the jerk (nicest way to put it) who owns the original venue she had booked for her reception wouldn’t give her even a partial refund despite her crying and begging, she had a second reception. It was fun, but traveling without David was hard. I don’t know how single parents do it.

I feel strange talking about my actual life since no one else here does that. But all of this is why I haven’t been posting nearly as much. I’ve been thinking of writing something about Ms. Janet’s death, but I don’t know what I want to say or even what I think about it. I can’t imagine being 32 and having lost both my parents to cancer.

My other ideas for posts are all about babies and children, which I figure reading about is pretty much like watching paint dry for people who don’t have young ones. They definitely have a political dimension to them, since childrearing in some sense is the ultimate political issue. But I’ve been hesitant to go in such a different direction from most of what’s discussed here.

They say that parenthood changes you. For me, that has been both true and false. I don’t feel that changed in the sense that I was well prepared for this, and feel like I have always been a mother, I just didn’t always have a baby. On the other hand, I do feel like I have lost a large part of myself or at least the persona that others saw. My passion for politics and social justice issues has declined precipitously in the past few years, and even more since having Casey. It’s such a sad stereotype that I hate to even acknowledge it, but there it is. Not in the sense that my views have changed much, but more that I no longer feel like there’s anything I can do to make things better and so the fieriness I once possessed is long gone. So that’s why I don’t have as much to say about torture and presidential candidates as I once would have.

The question is, given all this, where do I fit in to this blog now? I don’t mean that in a self-deprecating way, just an honest question.

P.S.  I just spent like an hour trying to post a picture of Casey and could not for the life of me figure out how to get it done.